7 years later.

This is a personal journal entry that the spirit has been asking me to write.
So I will.


At the beginning of November 2007, I was a mom to 2 darling, sweet little girls, ages 2 and 4.
Baby Tate was growing in my belly.
Mondo had left just a little over a week before.
My heart was still raw and hoping Mondo would be coming back home.
We had lived in our house/ward for about a year and a half and I was serving in the Primary Presidency...

One Tuesday night, around 8pm, a member from the Stake Presidency called.
He asked for Jake and said that they were hoping to meet with him that night.
I explained that he was at the church doing an activity with his 11 year old scouts and wouldn't be back until 8:30- 9:00.
I gave him Jakes cell number and let him know he could just keep calling until he answered.
{i am a good wife}
I wondered why the Stake Presidency would want to meet with him.
I went ahead and put on my basketball shorts and took off my bra.
{my pregnancy wardrobe}
This meeting was for Jake... and our girlies were already asleep anyway.
I wasn't going anywhere.
45 minutes later, Jake walked through the door.
"The Stake Presidency wants to meet with us… right now.", he said.
"Right now? Both of us? Do I have to put on a bra?", was my reply.
 {give me a break, I was prego}
I did get dressed and even though a member of the Stake Presidency offered to come babysit, we locked our doors and walked across the street to the Stake Center.
I truly had no idea what was coming.
A little after 9pm, we were sitting in the Stake Presidents office.
Jake was asked if he was willing to serve in our ward Bishopric.
I looked over at my husband with tears in my eyes.
{they were in his too}
He accepted the call.
I don't remember much that was said in that meeting, but I do remember crying.
President Lewis looked at me and said, "can I guess why you are crying?"
I nodded.
"Is it because you are grateful that the Lord sees your husband as someone worthy to accept this calling?"
Again I nodded and choked back tears.
He was exactly right.

Jake and I made the longest walk home ever.
Our lives had just changed.
And we knew it.
We sat on our couch and cried together.
He felt inadequate.
So did I.
How on earth was I going to do it alone?

The first few weeks I remember being in awe of all of the hours that were spent at the church or in the service of others.
I felt a gratitude for all of the Bishops/ Bishoprics that I had never given any thanks.
Sundays began at 6am and home around 4pm… unless there was a fireside or some other meeting to make them stay later.
Tuesday and Wednesday nights were also taken from 7-10pm or later.
Saturdays were hit or miss with baptisms, moves, service projects, youth activities, etc.
And phone calls or other things popped up often.

People asked me how I was adjusting to having my husband gone all of the time.
As much as I didn't always enjoy going to bed alone some nights, or wrestling children on the pew without a teammate, I couldn't be upset about it.
My husband came home each time a better man.
I saw him changing.
And that encouraged me to step up too.
Our relationship grew stronger as we grew closer to the Lord.
I couldn't be upset with that.
I only felt blessed.

Years flew by, I can honestly say that I was the happiest I had been in my entire life.
I was called as the primary president at the beginning of 2013.
{not a usual calling for a bishopric members wife}
I got to sit in ward council with my hubby twice a month.
I got to see him differently as he conducted meetings and talked lovingly about struggling ward members.
I heard him accept assignments and change plans without hesitation.
My love for him grew every single time.
I believe this may be the reason Heavenly Father had me serving as the Primary President.
These meetings were a highlight.

Its been almost 7 years since that night in the Stake Presidents office.
And yesterday Jake was released from the Bishopric.
We have 6 kids now, ages 10, 9, 7, 6, 4, and 3 mos.
4 of those children have never sat on the bench at church with their dad.
But they have all gotten something so much better.
The Lord has taught Jake and I so much over the past 7 years.
I learned what it means to actually be a part of a ward family.
I learned to see people for so much more than they appear.
I learned that your friends and ward members have many more struggles than you know, be patient.
I learned that people do change and repentance is real.
I learned that The Lord is in the details of our lives.
I learned that a Bishop carries a burden and a love for his ward family that nobody else understands.
I learned that the Lord can teach a man to be a better husband and father by serving others.
I learned that 2 kids on a bench is even more difficult than 6.
But mostly I learned that I have never been left to do any of it alone.

The Lord may have taken a portion of my husbands time away from our family, but he pays so much more than we give.
There have been numerous sets of unseen hands on my pew each week.
{doing some of the wrestling for me}
There have been kind comments, actions, or help from sweet ward members when I was weak.
There have been conversations, lessons, and callings that have come just when I needed them.
There have been bits of inspiration that are whispered to Jake or me in order to have us set goals to strengthen our family.
There have been interviews or meetings that have helped us recognize some of our own weaknesses.
There has been growth that the 25 year old me wouldn't have thought possible.

I cried a lot yesterday.
{I was asked to share my testimony in sacrament meeting and i am sure it all came out in sobs}
Not out of joy.
Not out of sadness.
It was gratitude.
All gratitude.
My heart was overflowing through my eyes.
Years of experiences flooded back to my mind.
The Lord has been so good to us.
Not because we are perfect, or even better than anyone else, but because he loved us enough to let us grow.

Our lives have changed again.
Just as suddenly as before.
Heavenly Father is going to teach us something else now.
And I am looking forward to it.