My story - parts of 2001 and 2002

My friend Cicily writes past journal entries on her blog. I love reading them, but even more I love the idea that I could have my personal history recorded. Enjoy.

 In January 2001, I was sitting at Stake Conference with my family. My sister Meggan was sitting next to me. Because 18 and 20 year olds aren't exactly "into" Stake Conference, we decided to look through the crowd to find "the hottest guy in the room".  Meggan and I began our search. It didn't take me long. Sitting 4 rows in front of us and to the right, there was this tall, dark, and handsome guy with a "glow" about him. I pointed him out to Meggan. She explained, " That is Lindsey Willis' brother. I think his name is Jake. He got back from his mission a few weeks ago." (that would explain the glow) Since I was only 18 and he was 21, I knew I had no chance, so I decided to stare at him for the remainder of Stake Conference.
  I am the type of person that always has a 5 year plan. I have had a 5 year plan since I was like 10 or 11. {Seriously} At 18 years old, I knew who I was gonna marry, when I was gonna marry him, when I was going to graduate college, and when I would have kids. It was a plan. I spent my all of my efforts in completing this plan. I would take as many credit hours as possible, work as many hours as possible, save a s much money as possible, and only date boys that were "good for now". (while waiting for a missionary). Remember I had a plan. I like sticking with my plan.
  In  January 2002, a new semester of school had begun. I was in the college of education at ASU specializing in special education. I was doing volunteer experience at several schools, and was working at Foundation for Blind Children. I had been on several dates with different guys. Only one of them I ever wanted to see again. (But he wasn't calling) I was stressed to the max, I had an ulcer in my stomach, and I was only sleeping 2 hours a night. One day my dad noticed my anxiety, and asked me why I was working so hard. I told him about my five year plan...graduation, marriage, work, kids. He stared at me. "Are you asking the Lord, or are you telling Him?" he responded. I hadn't thought about that. I was so busy working and planning "good" things that I had forgotten to ask! I decided that maybe I could stop being so stubborn and  listen.
   A few weeks after my dad had given me that piece of advice, and I was trying to actually listen,  it seemed like I'd see Jake Willis everywhere. We had been on a few dates in the fall and winter of 2001. We had had a wonderful time, and it was refreshing to meet a hot guy that didn't try to kiss me on our first two dates. I always wanted to see more of him, but whenever he would call, I had night classes. He had stopped calling. Suddenly he was at the gym (where I ran on the treadmill,  so I could see him), he was at school, I saw him driving down the road, and at YSA firesides. ( He WASN"T at some of the lame YSA activities I talked my friends into going to in order to try to see him) I got butterflies everytime he was around, but he didn't seem to be that interested.  My sister Lisa was in his ward, so she would give me "inside information" about him. She said that he would ask about me at church almost every week. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I told my friends one night ,while driving down the street listening to Delilah, that I would consider breaking my 5 year plan for Jake. {that was big}
   Because I have AMAZING friends, they helped me think of a date and a plan to ask him out. When I had gotten enough courage, I called his cell phone. I told him that my friends had planned a group date to the Easter Pageant and I still needed a date. Would he be willing to come with me? He paused and said, "um sure." Because of his lack of enthusiasm, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He said "no" and assured me he really did want to go out with me. I was SO thrilled. He told me that he would come pick me up (in his sexy tahoe) in  a few days.
   Of course I planned my outfit days in advance. (red v- neck American Eagle shirt and Calvin Klein flares...yes I remember.) The day came and he looked as hot as ever. I was so happy to be with him.We went to the Easter Pageant, Applebees, and then decided to go to my house to watch a movie. He was such a gentleman and treated me like a princess. On the drive to my parents house, he got fidgety and said, "remember when I said I didn't have a girlfriend? Well, I do."My heart droppped. I felt so stupid that I had been shamelessly flirting with him all night. ( I thought it had been reciprocated?) I appologized profusely for "making" him go out with me. We had gotten to my parents, so we got out of the car to join the group.
    As we watched the movie, Jake sat on the couch an entire cushion away from me. I thought about how stupid I felt for being on a date with some other girls' boyfriend. All of the sudden in the middle of the movie, he stood up and said, he had to get home. I got up to walk him to the door, apologize (again), and say goodbye.  As we neared the door, in the middle of my apology, he grabbed my hand. "I wouldn't have gone out with you if I didn't want to." He pulled me in and gave me the sweetest kiss I had ever gotten. I didn't know what to say. I am sure I was smiling bigger than I had before. He told me that he always wanted to go out with me, but he thought I wasn't interested, so he stopped trying. I laughed and we kissed again. He told me he'd call me the next day. I FLOATED back into the house. I looked at my friends sitting on the couch and said, "He closed the deal!" (as I jumped up and down)
{It was at that point that I realized that my 5 year plan was no longer.}