It is spring.
I am over the moon.
it is my favorite!
i love warm days and cool mornings.
i love short sleeves.
i love seeing my pasty white skin get freckles
{and then turn pinkish-brown}
i love knowing that summer is just around the corner...
but.
Every spring I get all body image crazy.
like, "holy crap, i better lose 10 lbs NOW 'cuz it is swimsuit season and I have waaaay too much junk in my trunk for that" kinda crazy.
i hate that about myself.
No matter if I am smaller than the year before, no matter if I am healthy,
i still complain EVERY year.
{always in my own head... never out loud}
i think as soon as I accept myself for the "athletic build" that I am
{and stop being so dang ungrateful for my amazing health and energy}
I will finally see the person in the mirror that I am in my head.
I will never be a size 2.
As long as I am healthy, I will have Kim Kardashians backside.
{not a good thing...to me at least}
I am who I am.
I need to own it.
Project Spring 2011.
I need to Love me.
The outside of me.
Every stretch mark, dimple, and freckle.
{in full sunlight}
I am going to stop worrying about what size I am and concentrate on how good I am taking care of my amazing body.
{ i think I should write that last sentence on my bathroom mirror}
Join me won't you?
ps. I didn't write this post, so you would comment,
"oh jenni, you are already beautiful!"
or
"i think your body is nice."
ect. ect.
This is me owning my crazy thoughts and putting them out there so all 15 readers of this blog can witness that I am trying to be a more grateful, less self critical person.
good luck to me. :)
November= Lots of Birthday Boys
1 day ago
8 comments:
I really wish I could join you. For reals. But not this year. Not with 20 lbs to lose. Not with still purple stretch marks and cellulite that is out of control. Not when I still have muffin top squishing out of my {fat pants}. You make a good point though. I should learn to be more grateful for my health and stop bemoaning the pounds. If I could just cut the sugar I'd be on my way. Instead, I gorge and then exercise and expect something to give. It's not giving. But props to you. Because even though you didn't want to incite compliments, you really do have a rockin' bod. :) And that is the truth. I would switch with you in a heart beat. So what's it gonna take for a trade? :)
Jen when my mom passed away and I had a crazy hard time I couldnt even eat. I got to 100 pounds again. But one of the worst things to me is not having an appetite. To literally be sick and force yourself to eat is the worst feeling. When I felt better and my appetite returned and I've since gained the weight back, I am thankful even though I like being skinny and not having to suck in and no cellulite at 100 pounds:).....I will always be grateful for my body now. Because when I'm hungry I'm healthy. It doesn't matter what we all weigh. If you eat good and workout which I know you do then it's all good. I'm always more thankful now even when my face is broken out still at the age of 33... Ahhhh... That I'm alive and don't have a horrible disease, etc. And you are beautiful:) I love you jen and our freckles too!
I meant your freckles too! I just have acne lol!
Here's the thing. Even if we were size 2, that crazy self-doubt will always creep in. So embracing who you are with all the good parts, and a few un-favorite parts passes the gift forward to your daughters and to your sons and to you. I have stretch marks because I am Emma Jean's granddaughter. I have crows feet because I smile like my mother. And my bootie is slowly sliding down my backside because I am me. Since I don't think any of the people that created me weren't good enough, why do I sometimes think it of myself? Just Satan. He can go away now! (But I don't want to expose myself in bright sunlight. It is a hazard. And hurts my eyes.)
Oh man, I needed you to give me this talk a long time ago! Why are girls so hard on themselves? Thanks for the reminder about being grateful for who we are at that moment and to realize what really is more important...heathly self and kids and happy family!
:)
You're hot
I'd tap that!! Lol, you are awesome!
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