boyfriend. Part 1. {the first}

I love love stories.
I fawn for all things romantic.
I only wanna watch movies that have happy, lovey, dovey endings
{and beginnings... And middles}

Within the past few months, 2 of my favorite blogs have featured the writers "first love" stories.
{the tales that prepared them for their mr. Right's}
I ate up every descriptive sentence.
I could relate to the heartbreak and the teenage immaturity.
I laughed at the humor spread through their fairytales.

I thought about how fantastic it would be to read similar stories about my mom or dad.
{and everyone else, for that matter}
{and see into their Inexperience and freespirited adventures}

I decided for posterities sake, I will write my own mini love story collection.
To show my offspring the {not so picture perfect} way I headed down my road to my Mr. Forever.

{in four parts}

Starting with "the first"

{ I know, my creativity is remarkable}

I was a junior in high school.
16 and 17 years old .
I had liked boys before.
They had even liked me back.
But this guy was different.
"T" and I had been friends for months.
He had even dated one of my friends.
And... He was a senior.
{oooooh}
Because of our school schedules we both got out of school several hours before our friends.
 He was a great sidekick, and I would call him to run errands with me, complete a homework assignment, or he would have me join him for his bowling class.
{yes, that's a real class}
{which consists of a lot of bowling games}
He even came to the rescue and waited at the DMV with me after my spice girl planner { and attached  drivers liscence } were stolen .
I don't know at exactly what point he went from being more than just a friend to me, but I do remember feeling like I wanted to spend every available minute with him.

We had a serious conversation one day and I told him I wouldn't mind being his girlfriend.
{luckily he felt the same way}
That was the first time he ever kissed me.
{and I smiled for 2 days straight}
Things didn't really change after that.
We were still just great friends.
{with a new title}
He was a sincere, thoughtful, and kind person.
He dressed really well, had a darling family, and lived only a block away from me.
Since we had been friends for so long, he knew my quirks, and accepted me anyway.
{he was also the cleanest boy I had ever met}
{his car was ALWAYS spotless inside and out}

Oh, and he smelled SO good.
{the things that matter to a teenage girl}

During our spring romance, just a few weeks after we had gone to a school dance together, I got a surprise on my doorstep.
It looked like a cake, but it was actually a stack of frosted paper plates.
{with messages written on them}
I don't remember exact wording, but he somehow used many of our inside jokes and had made an invitation to prom.
{very thoughtful and clever}
PROM 2000!
{nonetheless}
I was thrilled!
I answered him with a pecan roll
{that looked like a piece of poop}
and said something like "going to prom with someone else would be crappy"
{wow, my mom must've really loved that}
All of the necessary details were arranged.
I chose a lovely lavender gown and white sandal platforms.
I had an updo planned that had "fancy" written all over it.
He made sure to get the perfectly coordinating lavender cumber bun for his tux.
{and order a matching wrist corsage}
We were set.

The day of our Prom arrived.
"T" had the flu.
{like lay on the couch and hope to die kinda flu}
I assured him that we REALLY didn't have to go the dance.
I would be perfectly thrilled to spend the evening with him watching a movie in his family room.
{possibly wearing a wrist corsage?}
He wouldn't even think about that.
He assured me that he wasn't going to miss the chance to take me to the prom.
{and I couldn't argue with something that sweet}
He came to pick me up in the pre-chosen lavender accents.
I made my movie scripted entrance in my gown.
His eyes were far took sick looking to display the breathtaking "awe" I was hoping to get.
{but he was generous in his compliments anyway}
We went to dinner.
{he hardly even took a bite}
Then we were headed to the AZ science center for the dance.
Walking through the giant museum he had to sit and takes breaks since he was so tired.
We stood in the LOOONG line for pictures.
{often I stood in line alone while he rested on a nearby bench}
After what you can imagine were great photos
{not}
we danced one slow song and then I made him take me home.
I think he had done enough selfless kindness for one day.
He made 1000 unneccesary apologies on the ride home.
He dropped me off before 10pm.
{I know my parents were thrilled about that}
Although I could look back on that experience with regret, I honestly feel like that was the first time a boy had treated me like that.
He had completely put me first.
{not thinking about his own discomfort}
{at all}
{for an 18 year old boy that is/was amazing}
He set the bar high.
I can truly thank him for that.

May 2000 came quickly.
That meant he was graduating.
But with an entire year before he would be 19 and heading on his mission, I didn't feel too worried about our future.
Things were amazing.
He spoiled me with home burned mix cd's of all of my favorite songs...and ones he knew I would love.
{and he was almost always right}
He attended boy band concerts with me...and listened to hours of boy band serenades.
He also never seemed to be bothered with my overflowing hyperactive energy.
And even though it was no comparison to his kind deeds, I was able to be his shoulder to lean on as all of his friends left on missions within 2 months.
The summer of 2000, was going to be a full one for me.
The entire month of June I would be out of town.
{girls camp, family vacations, and EFY}
He promised to work a lot and be waiting to spend loads of time with me again in July.
and I promised to bring a picture {or 5} of him with me everywhere.
I had no plans to ever break up with him.

Neither of us saw what was coming.

I headed off to EFY.
IT WAS A BLAST!
{and that is an understatement}
Shelley and I laughed for days,
slept less than should be legal,
and ate ice-cream and fun dip for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
{oh, to have that metabolism again....}
Although it was a time of complete crazy fun, it was also the time of some of my sweetest, most precious spiritual experiences.
During one particularly spiritual class, the spirit told me I needed to follow the prophet and break up with my boyfriend.
{no steady dating hit me in a whole new way}
Although I tried to rationalize my prompting with thoughts like, "but we haven't even come close to crossing any boundaries" or "we are just super close friends" or the ever popular "He isn't talking about us!"
But I couldn't shake that I knew what I had to do.
I wrestled for days with it.
How would I truly break his heart?
He had never been anything but sweet and selfless to me.
I was his ONLY friend.
{since they had all left on missions }
I didn't know how I could get the words to leave my mouth.

I fasted on fast Sunday in July.
And I called him that night and asked to talk to him.
{he knew something wasn't right}
In the 10 minutes it took him to get to my house
{and spray on cologne, pick and appropriate outfit and spike his hair}
I sat on my kitchen table obviously distraught.
My mom stood nearby, unaware of what I was going to do, but somehow she knew I needed strength.
She encouraged me by saying, "I promise it will all work out for the best."
I saw his headlights pull up and I went out to meet him.
He looked like a lost baby deer.
He had no idea why I would be so serious.
I don't know how I said it, but I cried as I let everything spill out.
I will never forget the look on his face.
It was a mix of horror and devastation at the same time.
He even had tears welling up.
I felt as awful as that pecan roll.
I promised him we would still be friends.
We could even be best friends.
{without any hand holding or kissing}
He knew better than to take hope in that overused line.

I went home that night and marked every scripture in my Book of Mormon that said people are blessed when they follow the commandments and words of the prophet.
I needed reassurance that everything really would work out for the best.
I resisted the urge to call him Monday to hang out.
and Tuesday.
It hurt like crazy.
I just wanted to be laughing and joking like old times.
Finally on Wednesday we ran some errands together.
It was awkward.
Very awkward.
All of the sudden 8 months of familiarity had disappeared.
We weren't the same.
I stopped calling him.
And he was too heartbroken to call me.
One day I got a call from his sweet mom.
She begged me to call him and hang out with her son.
He was having a lot of troubles.
He needed a friend.
She pleaded with a mother who can see when things aren't going in the right direction.
I promised her I would.
I called him.
He didn't call back.
I stopped trying.
{if that is even classified as trying}

Months went by.
I dated other guys.
One guy in particular I dated a lot.
Since we only lived a block away from each other
{and shared friend circles}
"T" heard that I may have another boyfriend.
{he was understandably upset}
But while he was hearing about another guy, I was hearing stories about "T's" word of wisdom issues, and depression.
{and I felt largely responsible}
After hearing one of his best friends describe his current choices, I knew I had to do something.

I called him until he answered the phone and again asked him to meet me to talk.
He picked me up in his clean, great smelling car.
The place of days worth of conversations and memories.
It was familiar, but it felt so different now.
He was different now too.
I was blunt with him about what I had heard about his life choices.
{and he held nothing back in what he had heard about a potential new boyfriend either}
But as open as he was about me, he refused to even address himself.
He didn't look me in the eye the entire 2 hours we talked.
I could tell he was angry.
{at me}
I could tell he knew that what he was choosing wasn't good.
he felt sincere guilt.
I pleaded with him to change.
To be that incredible, kind guy he had been a few months before.
Again we cried together.
But he dropped me off with most things unresolved between us.
being a teenager was so difficult!

Within 2 weeks of that conversation, he was dating an old girlfriend, a few months later he was sending in his mission papers.
{and old, new girlfriend promised to wait for him}
My friends and I attended his farewell.
It felt so odd to be sitting there on the pew with so much water under our bridge.
and say goodbye this way.
Completely different than I could have ever imagined.

"T" taught me how I should be treated by a boyfriend.
He showed me how much respect, acceptance, and friendship should be in a relationship.
I am so grateful to him for that!

I ran into "T"'s mom a few years ago.
I asked how he was doing. He had begun making the same choices he had made years before.
{and added a few more}
I walked away feeling devastated for his choices and hoping he finds true joy.
But my testimony of prophetic warnings burned in my heart.
I owe so much to the Lord.
I feel grateful for his promptings and warnings.
I learned an invaluable lesson about following the spirit.
{and not relying on my own wisdom}
To this day I am shocked that my immature self was strong enough to follow that counsel.
But I am forever grateful that I did.