just another day in {paradise}: boyfriends. part 2. {the missionary}

In case you are just joining us...

I am writing a few of the tales

{love kinda stories}

of boyfriends past.

{in 4 parts}

{this is part 2 of 4}

The stories that prepared me to meet my "Mr. Forever."

{So hopefully my retrospective tales may be helpful to my kiddos at some point}

{in the VERY distant future}

"the missionary"

If you read part 1, you have already heard mention of the next love interest.

{as the non boyfriend}

By the end of summer 2000, I was dating a few different boys.

none seriously.

School started and I knew my senior year was gonna be awesome!!!

My sister Meggan came home one night saying she had met some really great guys at Nielsons frozen custard and gave them my number.

{since she wasn't interested/ available/ wanting to date younger guys}

I laughed at her.

She told me to trust her.

She said they were going to ASU and a few were really cute.

{who am I to turn down a possible date of an older college guy?}

{especially a cute, LDS, one?}

but.... they probably wouldn't even call.

{but they did}

We went on several big group dates.

All of my girls

and

All of their boys.

We played laser tag, flashlight tag in groves of trees, went to parking lot carnivals, saw movies, and just hung out.

Every time we were all out we had a lot of fun!

I would be lying if I didn't say I chose a favorite guy right away.

He fit my typical "type" of tall, dark and handsome.

He was also very ambitious and driven.

{all great qualities}
His name was "B".

Each of them was preparing to go on a mission in the winter of 2000/2001.

I knew I shouldn't get attached to anyone.

I don't remember specific details of how or when "B" and I started dating.

{and it stopped just being the entire group hanging out}

but I know I wasn't upset about it!

I think after the last few guys I had briefly dated... or even "T" {my first boyfriend}, it was refreshing to have the guy not be totally "all about" me.

{the thrill of the chase?}

He would call me and we would spend time together often, but he had his life, I had mine, and we would occasionally merge them.

It doesn't sound like the ideal relationship, but I think it was exactly what we both needed.

I didn't feel suffocated or worried about spending all of my time with the same person.

{and just be me... with a boyfriend...that nobody at school even knew about}

After about 2 months of dating, but a more relaxed kinda dating, he broke up with me.

{or at least I thought he did}

He fed me the same line I had given to others.

{we should still be friends, but its not what I need right now}

I cried like crazy.
ouch.

It became obvious that I liked him more than he liked me.

{and to top things off he had kissed another girl}

double ouch.

We sat down and talked one night.

I told him what a giant jerk face he had been...i was angry... and assured him that we would never work out after that.

He said sorry and he was ready for us to be boyfriend/girlfriend for real.

{like talking or seeing each other more often}

He explained how he had broken up with me out of guilt from kissing that other girl.

{at least he had guilt?}
{I bought it}

It took me about 15 minutes to forgive him.

{looking back...I should've made him wait a few days}

but, to be honest, I didn't want to.

Things after that were much more typical of a relationship.

I talked about him more, I didn't date anyone else.

I thought about him most of the time.

I knew he would be leaving on his mission in only a few months.

But everyday that went by, I liked him more.

{and I'm pretty sure he felt the same}

He was a guy who put the Lord first.
His mission was his main priority.
{just the way it should be}

He was a hard worker and he went along with my crazy antics.

I met his family one night.
{at applebees}

{they were amazing}

I decided I could see myself hanging out with them a lot more.

...And Things only got better with time.

His mission call came.

He would be going to south america.

That seemed SOOOO far away.

{and it was}

Not everythinig was peaches and roses.

I think we were too much alike.

Too driven, too abitious, too stubborn.

That made us argue...about stupid things.

We always fixed it quickly, but my friends commented how it always seemed like we were disagreeing on something.

{none of which was worth it}

One time I remember having an hour long conversation

{which wasn't happy... about favorite songs}

{see, it was ridiculous}

But, when things were good they were great.

The weekend of his farewell, I sobbed like a baby.

{for days}

{that may be an understatement}

I actually should have been embarrassed to set foot in his hometown again after that.

I was an emotional wreck, but

I had no doubts in my mind that I was waiting for him.

not even one.

He left right before spring break of my senior year.

My friends and I had adventures galore and I tried not to think about my sad heart.

Waiting for him became the focus of my 3 year plan.

I planned my college graduation around when he would come home.

I spent sooo much of my free time writing him.

It was the closest I could get to talking to him.
I wasn't my usual perky self.

I got an ulcer.

{from being so upset...and trying to act happy}

One day I decided I needed to "snap out of it"

So, being me, I decided to go full speed ahead into something different.

I started working out and eating way healthy.

I also buried myself in school.

{and work}
{and volunteering}

If I was busy all of the time, I couldn't think about him.

I started writing him less.

{like only once a week}

He wrote me far less than that.

I was dating a lot.

But only guys who were "safe"

Guys who I couldn't see any future with.

I visited his family often and his sister even moved into my house for a few months.

I clung to those times with his family.

{they reminded me of him}

By winter, he said he would only write me once once a month so he could focus on being a missionary.

{I respected his dedication}
{I knew he would always put the Lord first}

So, I followed his lead and began the once a month letter writing too.

Although mine would be pages long.

{and his only a paragraph or two}

I could tell he was a great missionary.

On his one year mark, I was so happy to have made it past one year.

And I was even more thrilled to be able to begin counting down the months until he would be home!

About that time I went to an institute class.

The teacher gave a lesson on how stupid it is for girls to wait for missionaries.

{or at least that's what it seemed like}

He asked if anyone in the class was waiting for a missionary.

I raised my hand.
{I wasn't ashamed}

He asked me if I really thought I was going to wait.

Even in front of the "safe" guy I was "dating",
I said "yes! absolutely!"
{several guys in the class rolled their eyes}
{apparently their girlfriends had said the same thing}
I was annoyed that none had faith in me.

Just like in the past, I didn't see what was coming.
{and neither did "B"}

I was way too stubborn to even look ahead.

{or ask for direction}

Without ruining the upcoming stories, I will just say,

Within a month {or 2} of that class, I had completely fallen, head over heels, in love with someone else.

{like missionary who? kinda love}
{really, I never would've guessed }

As much as I didn't want to break up with my missionary in a letter, it had to be done.

{that was the only option}

The feelings I had for him were real, but not even close to how I felt for this new guy.

but that didn't make it any easier to hurt him or his family.

I emailed the letter, even though I wasn't allowed to email him.

His brother lived only a few miles from me, and I wanted Elder "B" to hear it from me.