A post a day in may. day 7.

The thing I am most afraid of...

Most afraid?

I am kinda paranoid.

So there are lots of "most things".

For instance...
-being ax murdered
-being kidnapped and held captive
- having my children kidnapped and held hostage
- {insert other brutal, horrible things here}

But, I don't wanna write about those.
'Cuz they are super lame.

So, I will write about a fear that i have that is a little bit unusual...

Worms.

Yes, I am really, truly scared of worms.

Like, picture this... I am planting flowers in the garden and a creepy, slimy thing squiggles by.... I drop everything ,walk inside the house, and possibly lock the door... just in case they happen to grow arms, and learn how to use a door knob.

I guess I am not as "scared" of them as much as they just CREEP.ME.OUT!
The way they wiggle, move their body in tiny increments, have no eyes, and burrow into things is DISGUSTING!

{if you cant tell by my use of caps lock and exclamation points, this is serious biz}

It took me many years of self- psychoanalysis to determine why I hate them so much.
{i mean, they are harmless. Why shouldn't I have an irrational fear of scorpions or rattle snakes?}

It all goes back to my childhood....

{picture me reclined on a shrinks couch}

My parents backyard was full of fruit trees.
"The orchard" during summer was especially awesome.
Plums, peaches and apricots were everywhere.
{apricots and peaches are on my list of top 5 things I love to eat, btw}
My friends and i would literally sit in the orchard, search for the "perfect" peach, eat and then gab... for hours}
{see, the perfect childhood}
{and very healthy colons}

It was during one of these fruity, gab fests that I chose a gorgeous red, fuzzy peach and took a juicy bite.

I don't remember if I saw the worm wiggling in the peach first... or felt it in my mouth first... but it very quickly became apparent that I had just bitten into a worm.
{and it was now in two pieces}
... and both pieces were wiggling independent of each other...
until I had chewed the half of a worm into submission...
and swallowed.
{insert barfy gagging noises}

Why did I not spew the wiggling goodness out onto the grassy floor?
I think I was either in shock or denial, but either way I ate half of a worm... and I was still looking at half of it wiggling out of control in MY peach.
I could just picture that nasty thang in my belly... having worm babies and taking over my body from the inside.
{paranoid much?}

Its kinda amazing that I still love peaches as much as I do.
I guess I have taken all of my putrid fear out onto the worms.

Was this more than you needed to know?
For sure.

Day 7... checkity check